I believe in paying it
forward, particularly in respect of mental health issues. So many people seem
to think they "understand" while missing the point spectacularly. We
who live under the obnoxious cloud of depression, OCD, Bipolar, Borderline or
whatever other bastardy the establishment have labelled, or not, should trade
experiences and advice. We're the ones who know, we're the ones who live it,
and we're the ones who, with every breath we take, DEFEAT IT. Some days, just a
few words that hit the right spot can send my day in a better direction. So if
something occurs to me, something that I feel I need or have needed when the
misery chips were down, and I think it can help someone else, I'll say it,
whether that means putting it on my fb status or messaging a friend, whatever.
Last week, I posted the
following on FB:
"Here's a little advice - if someone you love is
experiencing a mental health problem but they don't want to talk about it with
you, don't let that stop you checking on them. They're probably not ignoring
you, they're probably working through their shit and have a lot going on. By
not engaging with them at all, you're not helping them, you're isolating them
and that's just not kind. Just check in, make them feel like they're noticed.
When you spend at least part of your life feeling like nothing, it's good to
know you're worth just a little of someone's time. It's easy in this day and
age."
I'd realised how hard it must
be for other people to sometimes know whether to "bother" me or just
leave me be. My response is JUST ASK ME. I won't flip out or destroy myself (or
you) because of your enquiry. I can always ignore it, especially in this day
and age. My intention was to make it clear that dicking about is not the way to
go. If you're concerned, ask. DIRECTLY. Don't ask someone else to check or beat
around the bush, and certainly don't ignore those you profess to care about.
Even if you don't get a response, the fact that you've bothered to ask them
directly will, more often than not, be thoroughly appreciated. Being seen is
invaluable at times. It's really that simple.
While I'm talking about
sharing, you should really check out my friend Ren Warom's vlogs (see links at
bottom*). She's got a brain I could swim in and she gives good advice, plus,
her vlogs are one of the ways I remind myself I'm not alone. The worst thing
about any mental health issue is that the first thing it does is make you feel
alone. Horribly, achingly, fearfully alone. If I can make one tiny bit of
difference to that, I'm going to do it.
*Check Ren out here -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJG0N7oVbG2AaIW1UM1gGug
https://renwaromsumwelt.wordpress.com
